LEAKED: Democrat National Convention Speakers & Schedule
Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will perform their Joe Biden puppet show.
Xi Jinping will present Joe Biden with a lifetime accomplishment award for being a friend of the Chinese Communist Party.
Susan Rice to discuss lying and unmasking: how to cover up a terrorist attack and spy on your domestic political opponents.
How to lie your way to the top! Elizabeth Warren will share her tips for using family folklore to get ahead.
House arrest: Kamala Harris will deliver a speech on dealing with truancy in the age of coronavirus.
Karen Bass will commemorate the death of “Comandante en jefe” Fidel Castro.
Power Trip! Gretchen Whitmer offers tips on using your authority to your family’s advantage.
Shaun King will deliver a speech calling for statues of Jesus to be torn down.
VA Gov. Ralph Northam and Joe Biden trade notes on offending Black Americans and getting away with it.
Iran’s supreme leader will thank Joe Biden for opposing the killing of Soleimani and for supporting the Iranian nuclear deal.
Black Lives Matter’s Patrisse Cullors discusses how its leaders are “trained Marxists.”
Cancelations list: stay up to date on the latest things you can’t buy, shows you can’t watch, and restaurants you can’t visit.
A preview of what to be outraged about today.
Teleprompter lessons with Joe Biden.
Rioting 101: A preferred list of weapons and liquids to use at your next “peaceful protest.”
A “cheer and chant” with teachers unions: When they say “keep schools closed”, we say, “for how long?!”
Biden, Inc: Meet-and-greet with Hunter, Frank, and James Biden. (Special guest: the CEO of Burisma.)
Electoral Assault: Democrats discuss their assault on the integrity of our elections and how to use coronavirus and the courts to legalize ballot harvesting, implement a nationwide mail-in ballot system, and eliminate nearly every safeguard in our elections.
Joe Biden to take the stage to accept his nomination… oops that’s all the time we have…
NOTE: Since Joe Biden wants to redirect and thereby defund the police, security will be provided by Portland’s mayor.
Rapid Response Director
Republican National Committee